Saturday, April 10, 2010

The Curious Case of Sania & Shoaib !

The past 10 days have been very hectic for most of the news [read: entertainment] channels in the country what with the Sania-Shoaib-Ayesha saga swinging everyday like the recently concluded DC v/s RCB IPL T-20 match.

Ok, so whats the big deal about this affair/wedding/relationship that our journos are losing sleep over..

1. For starters, Sania wants to marry Shoaib Malik because she saw that "X-factor" in him. Ever since this news broke out, renowned mathematicians, nuclear physicists and atronomers have been trying to find this "X-factor" that only Sania could spot. Last I heard, they were still trying. The journos, like always, wanted to stay one step ahead of the action, and that explains their curiosity and purported privacy invasion.

2. Most of the journos are men, and while they wouldnt admit it on record, they see Sania as India's answer to Pakistan's Jemima Khan - the only other contemporary [read: steamy] muslim woman that mankind knows, and the fear of losing their steamy idol's identity was real and looming large given the tolerance levels of most pakistani cricketers [a li'l bird tells me, Inzy's wife wasnt allowed to watch bollywood movies ever since John Abraham showed up in his now-famous "peeli-chaddi"]

3. Although the TRPs soar when Sania plays [a tennis match that is !], most letchy men [there's actually no other tribe of men !] watch her [and not the match !] with expectant eyes, ears, mouths and you get the drift ! In a popular poll [where only men participated], She was voted as the tennis star with the best rack on the WTA circuit, and all of this was possible only because of the massive support from the media-men. What else would explain her popularity with Indian men despite continuous 1st round exits in every season. Given this sudden announcement of her marriage to Shoaib, the journos are totally pissed and have together floated a conspiracy to de-rail her wedding plans.

4. Shoaib Malik is popularly known by different [different doesnt necessarily translate into "good"...in this case, read it as strange/weird !]names which include schmuck, dumbass, moron, di**h**d etc. Their worry [actually, its my worry too !] is that we may never be able to see Sania again in all her glory on a tennis court, and this may severely dent the growing popularity of women's tennis in India, and more so with the men in the country.

Hours of primetime footage and reams of newspaper have been used up to let the common man in India know the latest twists in this melo-drama as and when they unfolded. Following the latest saga, Shoab Malik is now the 2nd most famous pakistani in India - after Ajmal Kasab in Arthur Road jail. Such is the relevance posted to this triangular love story that we missed many of seemingly-inconsequential developments in the past week like -

1. 76 para military forces were massacred in dantewada
2. The U.S Treasury Secy, Timothy Geithner is in India for discussions on economic exchange.
3. Deccan Chargers have royally rogered the Royal Challengers Bangalore.
4. Cheryl Cole has a new man in her life
5. Hema has bought a new Ford Fiesta
6. I have a really bad cold etc..

[dont bother if you dont understand the last two points !]

Lets not have any righteous nonsense here..Sania has every right to screw up her life, and if she wants to do it this way, then we should support her, for we should not forget her contribution to Indian tennis, the internet industry, and the revival of "Aaj Tak" as an entertainment channel. We should instead be spending time speculating if Shoaib would don an Armani on the big day, the brand of perfume that Asif Ali Zardari would wear when he makes an appearance at the wedding etc.

Enough of this for now, lets get our focus back on the latest development - Uma Bharati is back with BJP.

Jai Sania..Jai Telangana...although I have no idea why I am hailing either !

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